Gentleman’s Guide: The Do’s and Don’ts Of Going To An Erotic Massage

Massage Etiquette

There are many men today who would like to try out an erotic massage but don’t have a real understanding of what they’re getting into. Simply put, rub and tug massage parlors carry with them some allure and a tremendous amount of mystery. Are they legal? Are they safe? How do I access some of the “extra” services that go along with the massage? Whether you’re intent on a happy ending or you’re just looking to try things out, here’s what you have to know before you head into one of these establishments.

Do go with cash

If you’re heading to an erotic massage parlor, you’ll want to bring cash. Treat the trip like you would a vacation to Las Vegas. Money talks, and it can often get you precisely what you want. Many of these establishments are in less that perfect parts of town, so you may want to be careful about displaying money. Still, cash will be much better than cards, as many of these establishments are not equipped to take non-cash payments. If they are equipped, they’ll sometimes charge exorbitant fees for running your card. As a matter of privacy, too, it’s better if you leave no record of your visit to one of these parlors.

Do expect a happy ending

At an erotic massage parlor, a happy ending is typically included in the price of admission. Unless you indicate otherwise, the massage provider will suspect that you want the old rub and tug. If you’re unsure, there are some ways to signal that this is what you’re after. For instance, when the massage provider leaves the room to let you disrobe, you can take off all of your clothes rather than leaving your boxer shorts on. This will ensure that you get the happy ending if that’s what you’re after.

Don’t expect other services without paying

At many massage establishments, the standard rub and tug is yours for the posted price. If you want something different, such as a nuru massage, you’ll have to pay more. Nuru massage involves the massage provider sliding on top of you with her clothes off. This will cost you a tip in addition to what you pay for the massage.

Don’t shy away from negotiating

These parlors are hotbeds for negotiation. None of the prices are set in stone, and you can get what you want if you’re willing to negotiate. Don’t be afraid to drive a hard bargain, as you can often save money. This is especially true if you notice that things have been slow.

Don’t be flashy

The legality of these massage parlors is in question in many parts of the country. In Houston, for instance, the DA’s Office is cracking down on these businesses. While men going to these parlors do not typically get charged with crimes, you won’t want to be there when a sting is going down. Try to be discreet if you can. This will ensure that you avoid any trouble.

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